Proud 🍒

My boobs have been through so much. The fact that they still look like good boobs is always a little surprising to me because of the whirlwind they've experienced.

I started out as a flat-chested teenager. I was always teased that I had "mosquito bites" and the smallest of bras still had room for me to get my hands into. While I appreciated the androgynous looks I could pull off, it was always a source of insecurity for me.

Then I got pregnant with my first and my tits exploded! I went from no cup size into a B cup and it was like being transformed into a new body entirely. I was determined to breastfeed because the young Mom in me bought into the lie of "Breast is Best". But then I had an emergency c-section that got severely infected and that infection got into my breastmilk and I couldn't breastfeed her.

My second baby, I was able to breastfeed and again had a boob explosion of the very uncomfortable kind! After months of successful breastfeeding, I became severely engorged and I vividly remember sitting on the couch topless, sobbing in pain with a bowl under each boob and the hottest of cloths while people who were helping me sat on each side squeezing milk painfully out of me. I gave up breastfeeding soon after that because I couldn't keep up demand.

This was also when I stopped wearing bras, which were high C cups. Again, I stopped buying into the lies women are told about their breasts: our boobs don't become saggier without bras, the muscles don't weaken just because no bra, society doesn't really notice or care if you don't wear a bra - it's surprisingly easy to walk around without a bra on! Yes, I would most definitely burn my bra!!!

Third baby was premature and in the NICU for quite a long time. I was also homeless and living in a government-funded hotel with 2 toddlers after leaving an abusive relationship. I hand-pumped for as long as I could, until they were adding more nutritional supplements than breastmilk.

Fourth baby, I breastfed for the longest out of all the kids. We were in such a good place in our lives, I had a fancy mechanical breast pump and lots of support to do it all. I was in a comfortable place in my relationship with my boobs. It was a blissful boob time.

But by fifth baby, I was done! My boobs needed a serious break. They pushed hard in the hospital for me to breastfeed and I used my big girl voice to tell them to stop and give it a rest. Nothing they could say or do would convince me. My tits had had enough and they gave me a great power to advocate for my body, my choice. With the sixth baby, who was diagnosed with a rare kidney condition and spent the first few months of her life in a hospital far away from us, breastfeeding was never even an option!

My boobs have absolutely been put through the wringer! From babies and breastfeeding to sudden growth spurts and stretchmarks, from the shackles of society's breasterly demands to freedom, acceptance and a great appreciation of the tit! Today, I am a woman who looks at my boobs and is proud of all they have been through.

Good boobies *pats boobs on nipples*